Hair today, gone tomorrow

I gotta make this post light-hearted at least in the title. Haha. Because I’m about to be upfront and honest about myself.

This time last year, I was looking at wigs. My hair was falling out so much and so often. The root of my problem was that I needed to cut out what caused my mental clutter and emotional strain. Now this time, days before I go across the Atlantic… I am facing the same situation of my health but with a twist. My hair loss has been progressing at an accelerated rate. It is worse than last year (which I thought I’d never be able to compare).

I’ve been pushing my body because I thought I could take life as it comes and goes. I didn’t realize how sensitive my body is compared to the majority. Reflecting on these past few months, I am realizing that I’ve not been taking care of my health as much as I thought I was. My internal worries now carried out externally… right on the top of my head. My body is not as strong as my mind and honestly neither is my mind most of the time. Stress, anxiety, fatigue, heart palpitations— figuring out your future as each present moment comes can be exhausting and immobilizing. I have been advised that it may not be in my health’s best interest to travel currently, but I know that I need to change my perspective for the time being... now more than ever.

My questions about my health will soon be answered as one could hope and pray. I am grateful for love and encouragement of those close in my life who accept me just the same. More than ever I am learning the patience of understanding myself on a physical and molecular level.. (Go figure I start losing my hair right when I lost my Marcus Aurelius book. I’m all out of stoicism.)

I didn’t publicly share last year’s struggles, because I don’t want sympathy. I don’t post many personal things, because of that reason. But. I want to show you a raw and real perspective to the struggles of an individual trying their best to be a self-sufficient artist. And. All I want for myself and for you… is to take care of yourself. Mind. Body. Soul. I truly believe that you cannot have one without the other.